Redundancy Blues

Once again it’s been a while, to be honest I haven’t ben in the right frame of mind to write much. Last month I was made redundant from my 9-5 job, this came as a bit of a shock to say the least as the company is doing well, but that’s a story for another time. So since then I’ve been job hunting and trying to further educate myself in this Art  we call photography.

Whilst it seems to have affected my pain levels somewhat, (is this due to the stress of being out of work?), I have been able to put some energy towards my photographic business, with 2 family bookings this month along with a day at a Dog show. The bookings are both from prizes I donated but I’m hopeful that they will lead to a: sales of images and b: word of mouth publicity.

The first of these is tomorrow and, I have to say, I’m really looking forward to this one. It’s for a little boy’s 2nd Birthday and he has Quad Cerebral Palsy. This means he has little movement in any of his limbs or head, but His smile lights up everything around Him, so I hope I can bring that out in some great pictures.

The Dog Show is more for publicity than anything else, with a percentage of the proceeds from any images I sell going to the Animal Shelter itself, I’m hoping it will be a busy day, I’m taking some pet portraits and also some pictures of the competitors in an agility race. In between the 2 I have a family shoot in one of the local Villages, with the local picturesque scenery as a backdrop I’m sure there’ll be some cracking pictures from that shoot.



I read this post some months ago but had forgotten about it until this week. It’s taken from the FMA UK Website Forums and is very poignant and descriptive. I wanted to share it for anyone who has been struggling to describe this condition to friends, family or work colleagues, or for those who may know someone with the condition, it is quite long, but please bare with it and, of course, take from it what you will. Thanks to ShazQ for sharing it at FMA with us.

My pain- is not caused by inflammation.
I can not work with my pain, it`s not because i don’t want to
It`s because i don’t know where my pain will be i.e;Today it is in
my shoulder, but tomorrow it may be in my legs or even in my arms/hands.
Sometimes i feel as if it`s my whole body.
My pain is believed to be caused by improper signals sent to the brain,
possibly due to sleep disorders. It is not well understood, but it is real.

My fatigue – I am not merely tired. I am often in a severe state of
exhaustion. I may want to participate in physical activities, but I can’t.
Please do not take this personally,
it isn’t because I don’t want to. I am, most likely, paying the price for stressing
my muscles beyond their capability.

My forgetfulness – Those of us who suffer from it call it fibrofog. I may
not remember your name, but I do remember you. I may not remember what I
promised to do for you, even though you told me just seconds ago. My problem
has nothing to do with my age but may be related to sleep deprivation. I do
not have a selective memory. On some days, I just don’t have any short-term
memory at all.

My sensitivities – I just can’t stand it! “It” could be any number of
things: bright sunlight, loud or high-pitched noises, odors. FMS has been
called the “aggravating everything disorder.” So don’t make me open the
curtains or listen to your child scream. I really can’t stand it.
this gets very frustrating, noises that have never bothered me before
do now.

My intolerance – I can’t stand heat, either. Or humidity. If I am a man,
I sweat…profusely. If I am a lady, I perspire. Both are equally
embarrassing, so please don’t feel compelled to point this shortcoming out
to me. I know. And don’t be surprised if I shake uncontrollably when it’s
cold. I don’t tolerate cold, either. My internal thermostat is broken, and
nobody knows how to fix it.

My depression – Yes, there are days when I would rather stay in bed
or in the house or even want to die.pain can cause depression.
Your sincere concern and understanding can pull me back from the brink,
yet snide remarks can tip me over the edge.
I will improve, i don’t know when, it might be something little that
will bring me out of it. Its not your fault and its not mine.

My sleepless nights – Don’t be put of by the looks of me in the morning, i might look
like a zombie, this is because i have not had much sleep, my brain wont
switch off, i have 100 and 1 things going around and around in my head,
none of it makes since, i used to sleep 8 hours a night, now i am lucky if
i sleep for 2 hours at a time.

Sleepy days- Some days i feel so tired, my body weights a ton, my whole
body aches, i have no energy, even though i have been in bed all night i
am going to have to go back to bed again, please understand how i feel,
i don’t want to live my life in bed, it is not my choice, the choice has been
taken away from me.

My stress – My body does not handle stress well. If I have to give up my
job, work part time, or handle my responsibilities from home, I’m not lazy.
Everyday stresses make my symptoms worse and can incapacitate me completely.
My hands go numb and i drop things, i don’t seem to know how to control my
own body, this is not a good feeling.

My weight – I may be fat or I may be skinny. Either way, it is not by
choice. My body is not your body. My appetite is broken, and nobody can tell
me how to fix it, if only there could be that magic pill. I don’t like my body
like this and i cant help the fact that i crave food all the time, i try my best
but my best is not always good enough.

My good days – If you see me smiling and functioning normally, don’t
assume I am well. I suffer from a chronic pain and fatigue illness with no
cure. I can have my good days or weeks. In fact, the good
days are what keep me going.I try to do what i can as i never know when
the next flare will return.

My medication- I have had to try many different medications, i seem to be
very sensitive, not sure why. Please bare with me if i seem ratty the meds
cause all types of symptoms, ie: sickness, headaches, drowsy, legs/arm pains.
Some meds can take up to 4 weeks to kick in but it only takes a few days
for the side effects to kick in.

Cravings- Please don’t think i am being greedy, its not my fault its the side
effects of my meds. I try to resist but sometimes it gives me pleasure to
eat that chocolate bar in the fridge, i try to have more control over the
cravings and to eat healthy snacks but you always see me with the chocolate

Clumsy- I know there are days when you think i am clumsy, i really don’t
mean to be, i know i drop things but it does not give me pleasure doing it,
My hands don’t want to grip things, all the strength has gone, wish i knew where.
My legs feel like they have been set in concrete and i have to drag my legs.

Lunch- Peeling veg is getting impossible as i cant grip the knife, this might seem
a small thing to you but its a big thing to me. I want to prepare the
dinner for you all, i am not getting out of it, its the pain stopping me.
I might blame the onion for the tears running down my face but i don’t
like to keep showing you my weaknesses, i feel useless.

This heat- is killing me, i cant cope with it, i know i used to be a sun
worshiper but now my thermostat is broke i cant control my temperature.
Dont keep telling me to wipe the sweat from my face, i know its there
do you think i like people looking at me.
the fatigue is so bad all i want to do is sleep but it`s so hot so i need the fan
on me all night, sorry if this bugs you, i dont do it to annoy you.

This cold weather- is really getting to me, i cant seem to get warm
my bones really hurt today, that might sound strange to you, but its
real to me. My fingers and toes hurt with pins and needles, oh why
is all this happening to me.

IBS-bloats me and makes me feel sick,no 2 days are the same one day
i might be constipated and in bad pain but the next i might be on the
loo 5 times. I cant help that i have had to change my eating habits,i
have to learn what is best for my stomach to handle.

Even those who suffer from FMS are not alike.
I may have migraines or hip pain or shoulder pain or knee pain,
but I do not have exactly the same pain as anyone else, we all
have different pain levels. A lot of the same symptoms yes
but also some different.

Anyone who is struggling with this, please visit if you haven’t already.



Sunshine, Social media and sport

1901235_355452844594192_1283077738_nAfter some glorious weather at the weekend, I got out to the River and took some shots of the Flowers etc. there. Also had great results in the football and rugby over the weekend, if not the cricket!!

Last week I decided to bite the bullet and organise my Lightroom4 images, so I finally set up folders and catalogues and went through my images, so that by Friday I had the all tidied away into folders.

The best part of this was the number of images that I found that had been there, forgotten, or discarded previously, that I have now been able to rework using Perfect Effects 8 which I had downloaded a few weeks earlier. Including the image above, which I had taken last Autumn, but had looked somewhat Bland before, and the image below, which is from a Client shoot a couple of weeks ago, given quite a harsh treatment, I hope they will like the attitude of it.

LE8I’ve been quite active on Facebook, but will have to work on other forms now, I know very little about Instagram and Pinterest, but should get going with them and see what audiences I can get there, my Facebook profile is getting bigger, which is great, now I just need some work to come from it.

All of my new images are now for sale on my website where I have also catagorised images.

So, what next? I am looking into putting my images on Cards and I’m photographing a Spring Ball in a few weeks, so Hopefully that will keep me busy and get me introduced to some new clients too.


I know, its been a long time since I blogged here, but with the 9-5, the photography and the FM I’ve managed to be remiss in my Blogging duties…..

Been busy on may fronts, with the “day job” getting very busy, pressure from them to do 5 days a week, but I can’t do, I don’t want to risk a massive FM Flare from overdoing it, to be honest I’ve had a pretty bad 3-4 weeks as it is, health wise.

I’ve finally got an appointment to see a Rheumatologist, beginning of next month, so I’ll be interested to see what He thinks about my treatment/medication so far.

The Photography work seems to be heading in the right direction, albeit pretty slowly, but, hey, the tortoise won the race, right? I’ve set up an account with a company to send me leads for the postcode covering some of the lovely villages near to me, so hopefully they’ll start coming through in the next couple of weeks and I’ve got 3 bookings on the Calendar so far.

Trifold (My new leaflet to be handed out at a charity event next month)

I think that’s enough for now so I’ll hope to get back on here in the next day or so and find something more interesting that my potted history to write about.

Its just not cricket.

Well, actually, it is…


I cant let today pass without commenting on the Icon that is Sachin Tendulkar, playing in his 200th test match, on his home ground (perfect timing). When tickets went on sale the website had millions of hits in the first hour alone, there isn’t a stadium in the world that could hold everyone that wants to see “The Little Master” play in his final Match.






In His native land he is worshipped, every move followed, and yet he doesnt crack under the pressure, those that have met him and played against him say he is a true gentleman that plays the game in the right way, no histrionics, he loves to bat, he loves cricket and, I think, everyone will be sad to see him retire.

Of course, there’s always going to be a debate about the greatest, was it Bradman or Sobers, Lara or Tendulkar, that argument will never, and should never be fully answered as the game changes, so will the players and I think it should just be stated that this week will see one of the great players finish his career and I, for one, feel privileged to have seen him play.


  • Born in Mumbai
  • 40 years old
  • Test debut: November 1989
  • 15,847 runs in 199 Tests
  • 18,426 runs in 463 ODIs
  • 100 centuries in Tests and ODIs
  • Highest score: 248 not out

Lack of inspiration

Its been a while since I wrote anything here, mainly due to a lack of anything to write about.

I think though, that as I’ve had a had a couple of bad weeks, pain wise, its meant that I haven’t worried about writing anything, I’m sure something must have happened since my last post.

Anyway, here I am, after an OK night’s sleep, not in too much pain today, wondering if the weather has been affecting my health, I know many people believe it does, with it so changeable at present, raining one minute, sunny another, I’m sure it doesn’t help.

Looking forward to a few days away from Wednesday, visiting Belper in the Peak District, coming home of Friday, so, FM permitting, would like to get some nice Autumn sunset/sunrise shots of the beautiful countryside round there.

If anyone has any suggestions for photogenic places to visit, I’m all ears 🙂


What happened

I was starting to write about my lack of sleep, but thought ” who wants to hear about that?”
Then, as a lay here, soaking in the bath, I can hear my boys in the next room, playing silly buggers. One of them has just come home and told us he’s working 6am – 5.30pm this week and ,I’m sure he’ll be tired and crabby by the end of the week, but, for now, he’s happy, as he will be when he gets paid ;)..
The other lives here with me and Ali, having moved in with me when he was 16 as his Mum moved over 200 miles away, so he left his friends in the city and moved in with me and then we moved to the country with Ali and Oli. He sees his Brother and Sister only 2-3 times a year, but loves it here and never complains.
So I was just thinking that, despite the mess and the “teen-boy smell” that permeates the air from their rooms, the occasional argument, sulk, noise complaint and frequent late nights, I’m very proud of them both.
So this post is for the parents of grown but not yet flown children, live in housesitters when we want a weekend (or longer) away, cat minders, woodcutters, mowers of the lawn (very rarely). They keep us tied to the present, teach us about all things modern and generally keep us sane. Though the latter is only because I dare not risk losing my mind yet, who knows where they’ll book us in to so they dont have to put up with us!!!